The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
