Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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