careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
