i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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