Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
