Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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