Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You're like the curious george of whores
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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