Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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