You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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