The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
