how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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