i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
