Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
