the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
