Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
