Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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