Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
