doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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