ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
