I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
