Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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