After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
