anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
