I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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