Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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