to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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