She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
