tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
my poor anus
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
