He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
