pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
