Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
