My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
