The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
