I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
