I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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