well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
