Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
