Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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