1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
