no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i think my mom watched the whole time
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
