Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
