Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
