Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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