I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
that is very illegal...i love you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
