i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
