Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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