i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
