he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
