Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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