:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
