Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
