she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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